The thing that surprised me the most was how different my
boyfriend and coworker scored compared to me on the Verbal Aggressiveness
Scale. I scored myself in the moderate range where my coworker scored me in the
low category and my boyfriend scored me in the significant category. I think it is interesting how differently
people view you when you think that you are the same across the board. This
just shows how people perceive others differently for one reason or another.
This surprised me because by the definitions of each group, I feel I am in the
moderate group. I know I need to work on
how I share my strong beliefs and opinions. It definitely made me think twice
about how I am communicating with others.
The first insight I gained deals with how we look at
ourselves. I learned through reading and from the results of the tests that the
way we see ourselves both how we think we are and how we think we talk has an
impact on the way we communicate with others. For example, when I feel my facts
and opinions are right I may speak with a tone where it says to others I know I
am right and it does not matter what they say (which could be why my boyfriend
scored me the way he did). This is one thing I turned into a goal in hopes of
stopping that even though I was unaware it was even bad. I thought the way I stated
my opinions was sensitive towards others but apparently not everyone, because
the people at work scored me in the low range which was lower than what I scored
myself. The second insight deals with how we perceive things and the negative
effects it can have on us. One way to overcome failure is to not let emotions
take over. I also learned that our
predictions can negatively or positively impact our communication.
These insights can enhance my ability to communicate both
professionally and personally. I am more
aware of how people perceive me which has actually caused me to be more careful
as to what I am saying and how I am saying it. I am making fewer assumptions or
opinions before talking with the person first that way my perception is less
likely to interfere negatively with my communication. I am trying to gain a
full understanding of the context/ content before speaking. Implementing these goals will help in the way
I communicate with my families and students as well as hopefully helping the
communication I have with my boyfriend, since that is the area that shocked me
the most.
Victoria,
ReplyDeleteGood post. This was a very interesting exercise. Like you, I agree that the way we see ourselves may differ greatly from how others view us. For the exercise, I was evaluated by my father and a friend. Both of them evaluated me in the same way as i viewed myself. I think that it is not what we say to others, but how we express what we are saying to them. Tone is definitely a factor that might be why your boyfriend rated you the way he did. This would be a chance to implement thinking before we speak; including thinking about the tone we should use.
Victoria,
ReplyDeleteReading your post, I guess it's a good thing that my boyfriend doesn't know English and cannot complete the survey ;) Although I thought I was more aggressive in speaking, my results were moderate. I also thought I was more anxious about speaking in public but I got "mild" for my score. That is great that you have set up goals for yourself. Becoming aware of our flaws and wanting to change is a big deal. Thanks for sharing.
Stephanie
Hi Victoria,
ReplyDeleteI think this weeks assignment has helped us all to be aware of changes that we need to improve our communication skills. It would be wonderful for all of us to utilize the Platinum Rule, which is to treat others how they would like to be treated. While working with families and children; it is important to use understanding and listening as effective communication skills.This class continues to allow me to learn more about myself and others. I think your feedback from your friends will provide you valuable information about yourself and make you a better friend and colleague.
Victoria,
ReplyDeleteDo you find it amazing how others perceive you? I am sure if I was to put about 10 people in the same room to evaluate me, most of them will perceive me differently than what I perceive myself. I think it has a lot to do with the types of attitudes we use during conversations and situations. Your boyfriend may have thought you were being aggressive because of your attitude and tone during the conversation. In your head, you may have thought you were relaxed but your body language and tone of voice said something different. My advice would be to pay close attention to your body language and tone of voice during debates.
Latasha
Hi Victoria,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! The results from your evaluations are very interesting. I realized when I was doing my self evaluation regarding the verbal aggressiveness scale that in many cases my verbal aggressiveness level is related to whom I communicating with. For example, the level of my verbal aggressiveness is less when I am communicating with professionals, colleagues and acquaintances than when I am communicating with my family members and close friends. On that basis, after this week's assignment one of my communication goals is to make the level of my verbal aggressiveness consistent with everybody.
Hi Victoria,
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I think that it is very interesting to see how others view/perceive us. It is interesting that you scored so differently from your other 2 evaluations. I agree with you that this has taught me to think more carefully about what and how I communicate. I think that being able to self-assess is a great quality in an early childhood professional. Thanks for sharing.